Billowing sheets fresh from the dryer, popping in the air, then delicately falling, enveloping the mattress beneath. Watching my mom make the bed when I was little always enthralled me. Sometimes at night I would even remove the bedspread, crawl under the top sheet & kick it up into the air to watch it again and then to feel it gently cover me from head to toe in the process.
It dawned on me recently that this is exactly how I viewed John 3:16 - the most well known (and probably well loved) Bible verse of all time. At the risk of sounding sac religious, I believed it sounded like a blanket statement –vague and impersonal. “For God so loved THE WORLD…” As the sheets draped the bed, I envisioned His love draping the earth. It was nice and all, but my heart was hungry for more. I needed to know - did He love ME? Did he notice me? Did he really know me? Emotionally, I was ravenous, craving a love that was tailor made - formed, fashioned & fitted just for me; not only the world at large.
To be honest, my entire life I’ve struggled with believing I was loved. No matter the people I surrounded myself with (even my husband and immediate family), how long I held a friendship, or how hard I tried, at best I still felt like the fringe on a rug…never a central part; just loosely connected. At worst I felt overlooked, unwanted, pre-judged, cast aside, simply tolerated, picked over, or unknown completely. Ouch!
You too?
Thankfully though, that’s not how our Heavenly Father feels about us at all! One morning as I sat on my couch reading my Bible, God revealed to me how personalized and intimate His knowledge of and love for me really is. The last half of Psalm 139 verse 3 (NIV) stopped me in my tracks. It says, “you are familiar with all my ways.” I read it again…”ALL my ways.” I began mulling it over in my mind. What were “all” my ways anyway? I didn’t even know. But I felt challenged by the Lord to find out. So I picked up my pen and a blank sheet of paper and began to write. As I started listing off some of the more obvious things God knew about me (such as my name), a page full of more intimate & secretive facts also came gushing forth (like my weight among other things).
May I share some of them with you? As you read through this, I would encourage you to take the time to ponder over each individual thought; don’t hurriedly skim over them. Soak in the reality of His intimate knowledge of you personally. Savor the uniqueness of his love for you, and then relish in His delight over you. God, You know my thoughts.
You know my fears. You know my passions. You know my pleasures. You know my pain. You know my sorrows. You know my intentions. You know my secrets. You know my motives. You know my reasons. You know my excuses. You know my hesitations. You know my tears. You know my laugh. You know my calling. You know my questions. You know my doubts. You know my guilt. You know my shame. You know my pride. You know my insecurities. You know my limits. You know my desires. You know my struggles. You know my strengths. You know my talents. You know my weaknesses. You know my complexities. You know my absurdities. You know my expectations. You know my disappointments. You know my heartache. You know my failures. You know my successes. You know my grief. You know my addictions. You know my brokenness. You know my scars. You know my past. You know my future. You know my circumstances.
This is not an exhaustive list, but when I eventually ran out of words I simply sat in the silence, in awe of the depth of his knowledge of me. If others discovered some of these truths, I would be terrified, embarrassed or grieved. But this? This was freeing. I was at peace. I was in awe. I then heard Jesus say to me, “You are fully known and fully loved.”
And the same is true for you. No matter where you find yourself, what your circumstances may be, what you’ve done (or failed to do), and the list goes on, you can be confident in knowing you are fully known and fully loved by our Heavenly Father.
And that my friends, is a very soft place to rest.
Happy Valentines Day, my friend!
