I'm going to ask your forgiveness in advance, because this blog is quite long and skips around quite a bit...hence the title of "Connect the Dots." Do try to follow along to the best of your ability and I'll do my best to bring it full circle and tie up any loose ends when I'm done. :)
Yesterday when Jamie got home from school, I was in the kitchen cooking. I asked her how her day was, and she just kind of fell into my arms with a sad look on her face. I asked her what happened, and apparently, a teacher had gotten upset with her for not getting far enough along in her school work to suit her during Science class. We talked a few minutes and then she walked away. I honestly don't remember how much time had passed, but a little while later I went looking for Jamie, and couldn't find her. I looked everywhere in the house, glanced outside, etc. No Jamie. I began to get worried, and I called her name once more as I stepped out into the garage. She responded, but I couldn't tell where her voice was coming from. I went outside and found her sitting on this bench, facing the back of our property. You can't see it from the house, due to the pump house, and kid's swing set. I walked out to her and sat down to visit. Unfortunately, she has my tendency to clam up when something's bothering her. Well, that used to be my tendency when I was younger...no longer. :) I asked her a few questions, but most of the feedback I received was in the form of shrugged shoulders, and then falling into my arms again. She claimed she wasn't upset specifically about the teacher situation, but was just overall sad in general (I'm beginning to blame most of these mood swings on pre-adolesent hormones to tell you the truth).
A while back, I was kind of musing to myself and questioned if God really wanted us to talk to Him, or if he just expected us to because that's what Christians are "supposed" to do, but He didn't really care one way or another. Don't ask me why my mind went there, but it did. I got my answer loud and clear yesterday on that bench! I was wanting so desperately to help Jamie with her problem, and longed for her to open up to me, but she refused. She just sat there shrugging her shoulders, keeping her lips sealed. I cannot explain to you what I was feeling at that moment. It was the most intense, anxious, yearning I have ever felt. I was begging her to talk to me!!!!! And at that moment, God opened my heart and dropped this in...He said, "This is how much I want you to talk to me! Yes, I care! Yes, I listen. I long for you to open up to me and just talk!" (Don't you just love how our relationship with our kids mirrors us and our relationship with our God, our Heavenly Parent?) I was quite frankly shocked at the clarity of His message, excited that He truly does care...and yet felt slightly guilty too for not spending as much time with Him as I would like. After that little exchange, we didn't do much talking, but rather just sat together, watching the birds, feeling the breeze, and enjoying the silence.
You may think this is silly, but one of my favorite things in nature to watch are these flocks of small birds...not sure what they are. But when they're flying, they look to me like pepper being blown in the wind. I think they're neat to watch! I've never mentioned that to anyone...I've just kept this fascination to myself. At one point, a small group of them flew overhead, but Jamie was looking the other direction, so she missed out on it. I wanted her to see them, so I silently asked for God to make them turn back around so she could enjoy them with me. He said no, and they continued to fly until they were out of sight. A few seconds later though, out of nowhere, came MASSES of these small feathered creatures flying overhead...thousands upon thousands-no lie! They went on as far as the eye could see...from behind us, flying over the roof of our house, across our 29 acres, and beyond! It was like the Energizer Bunny in Bird form...they just kept going and going and going...I have never seen so many at once! I was thrilled!!! They were swerving to the right, darting down, soaring back up...they put on quite a show! While we were watching this production, I told Jamie about my love of watching these birds, and it reminded me of this book I'm reading by Beth Moore called, "Believing God." She says that when you're earnestly praying for a miracle, and you don't get it, it's because ultimately God has a bigger YES in mind. Even in the little things (like watching birds fly), He wants to demonstrate His love to us...if only we'll believe and trust Him.
Then today, Paul and I took the kid's to Victoria so Paul could finish up some secret Christmas shopping for the kids (I'm not even allowed to know what he bought them!?). We took both vehicles so after he bought my gifts, I could take the kids and he could go on his secret escapade. While he shopped, the kid's and I decided to drop by a friend of ours house that we haven't seen in quite some time! Her real name is Nicole, but the kid's all refer to her as CoCo. We used to hang out all the time when the kid's were younger, but now she has a full time job, and for me, life with 3 kids just gets busy! It was so good visiting with her, even for just a few minutes. It truly felt as if we just picked back up where we left off! I didn't realize how much I had missed her until after I left. I was thinking, "Why do I wait so long between visits? Whether it's by phone, e-mail or dropping in on her (or anyone for that matter)." It was refreshing just to be in the presence of a true friend.
Is this making any sense to you? Do you see how all these stories tie together? God longs for us to have a relationship with Him! Not one out of obligation or duty, but because He loves us!!! I know we're all busy, especially at this time of year, but whatever you decide to cut out of your schedule, don't let it be your time spent with Him! He is the ONLY thing that will ever truly satisfy the longings in your heart. Let Him. He wants you to believe Him and to trust Him. He will not let you down!
"My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face Lord, I will seek." Psalm 27:8
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
"You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." Psalm 145:16